ONE

| R’DDUR’N | THE DEEP | 500th CENTURY BCE |

In your world, I am Hades. Your so-called god of the Underworld. A bad translation, but for now it will do. Time enough for clarifications later.

Before I arrived in your world, I was R’ddurn’n. Commander of The Deep. Annihilator of Worlds. Bringer of Death. Bearer of Darkness. At the height of my ascendence, my power was vast: I stood second only to Marduk, usurper of Anu, Lord of Ten Thousand Worlds, Protector of The Deep.

When he began testing his strength against the pantheon, chafing against his lower rank in the ascendence, I saw his darkness, his ambition, his cruelty, and recognized the same in me. I aligned myself to him, used my faint lineage to the royal family, born of a concubine of a lesser royal. Proved my worth and served him well in his brutal coup.

If Marduk were capable of love, he would have loved me as a brother. But he is not. His soul is as black as Void. Instead, he showed his appreciation of me in what he bestowed upon me. Interstellar ships. Several dozen planets rich with resources. And the ultimate proof: one of his three regeneration devices that cannot expire. I could live until the universe reaches heat death and still look about 30 years old. If I wanted. I haven’t decided if I want to yet. It depends how this story unfolds.

After his ascendence, Marduk placed me before Enlil, even before his own father Enki. And they bowed to me. Feared me. The sons of Anu, their blood the purest of all, the true successors of Anu. They bowed because they knew what I was capable of. The weapon Marduk wielded against those who resisted his control. I was merciless, and sadistic against those who stood against him. I shattered worlds, or crushed them, or stripped them of life little by little – and enjoyed it, enjoyed the suffering of those who believed they could withstand the inevitable. I used my power to its fullest extent. No matter how many injuries I sustained, my regenerative abilities were second to none. I had everything I wanted. Power, sex, slaves, obscene wealth, near eternal life. I was a god. Or as close to one as is possible.

Until I fell in love. With the one forbidden to all. I will let her tell you her story, herself. I know she will be here, because wherever I am, she is. We always find each other. Even here, in this sudden, unexpected chronicle of our love that has emerged from a universe-spanning entanglement - hidden behind these sterile words human readers need to communicate - is our love. Our impossible, imperfect, violent, tragic love.

And how it has begun again. Perhaps for the final time.

We shall see.

 | KUSHNINNA | THE DEEP | 500th CENTURY BCE |

When we began, the air burned violet from our violence. Today, the air is drenched with the essence of the dead. We are losing. Our mighty coup has failed and there is only a handful of us left, but still, we fight the onslaught of Marduk’s minion army, the filthy Kirrum Kag.

I raise my triple-bladed jihn and let it feast on the creatures hurtling themselves at me, hungry for the prize of my head, my back against R’ddur’n—my soul, my rock, my eternal bond. I feel his power as he lifts the mighty Hedagh cirrix entrusted to him by the Eradu, its power surging through him as the Hedagh hums with its own life, eating the souls of our victims.

Our last protector falls to the horde. As he falls, his death cry For R’ddur’n! echoes across the wasteland of the dead. Left only with R’ddur’n, the one who would have been Lord of the Deep had we not failed, we continue to fight for our lives while the sky burns crimson with the heat of ancient suns. Through my exoskeletal armor, I can feel the pressure of R’ddur’n’s back against mine, a lover’s caress.

If I could do it all again, I would, even to this end—to our fatal destiny. We believed in what was right, wished to overthrow the tyranny of my father Marduk and begin a new order. The citizens and nobles of the Deep’s Collective may adore General R’ddur’n, but my love for him is fiercer than the storms of the frozen moons of Dseum. We were meant to rule together. We were going to change the course of the universal rhythm. We would open the forbidden doors between the dimensions and usher in an enlightened existence of freedom and peace, ending the fear which has crippled my father’s subjects for aeons.

I kick aside two Kirri. They tumble from the cliff, their hissing vile in my ears even though they are their cries of terror. A brutal wall of sound decimates me, steals my strength. I fall to my knees, helpless. R’ddur’n pulls my back to my feet; the power of the cirrix overriding the weapon's assault. The Kirrum disintegrate, their molecular structures too flimsy to withstand its force. A bizarre tableau spreads away; countless dead from R’ddur’n’s army litter the rocky desert terrain. None of my father’s forces remain—it is as if we have fought phantoms.

A little distance away, my father’s ship materializes. Marduk steps out and lifts his head. He looks straight at me. I know his mind. He is going to kill us. I turn to R’ddur’n.

The Hedagh’s haft in his fist, R’ddur’n removes his visor. His beauty still takes my breath away. His eyes gleam a cold cerulean—though none ever burned as bright as his. His words sear themselves against my soul.

“I have failed you.” He casts a glance at the source of our imminent demise as my father approaches. I memorize R’ddur’n’s features. His eyes return to mine. “We are one. Never forget that. Never forget us.” He kisses me, deep, possessive. Anguished.

Caught in the force of his passion, fourteen spheres of our shared history flash through my mind—the moment our eyes locked in the Halls of Arymendu; his explosive rise to General of Marduk’s army; nights spent locked in love; the enlightenment we wished to bring; the night my father refused to allow me to bind with R’ddur’n. When R’ddur’n pulls away, my lips are bleeding, as are his. I taste our mingled blood, savor the brutality of our love.

The footfalls cease. R’ddur’n’s arms tighten around me. The voice of my father deadens the air. “Kushninna, shame of my existence, step away from the pretender and kneel before Nibiru’s true lord.”

I sink to my knee, bow my head and lift my weapon.

“Commander R’ddur’n,” I say, ignoring the heated glare of my father’s contempt as he paces past me. “I pledge my allegiance to you, in this life and all others. Throughout the dimensions of the known universes, I will always be yours. I beg you, slay me now, for I would die with you here and by no other weapon than yours.”

I lift my eyes to R’ddur’n’s. It takes me several heartbeats to realize he is already dead. His head slides from his shoulders and lands at my feet, his eyes on mine. A heartbeat later, his body collapses. His life essence sprays my armor—in the burning light, it shines red-black, the color of our love.

“R’ddur’n.” My eyes won't bleed their sorrow though I want them to. I pick up his head, rise and meet my father's cold satisfaction as he sheathes his tainted blade. “Do with me what you will. I am already dead.”

Alone in my cell, I wait for my punishment, the life essence of R’ddur’n still staining my armor. My father took R’ddur’n’s head from me before I was marched into the Temple of Anu. Forced to my knees, I was bid confess the error of my ways before our Ancient Creator. I remained silent. I have nothing to confess. The assembled nobles and priests were subdued as I left. I am certain Marduk is consulting with them as to how best to finish me. I am not afraid. I want it to be over. I want it to end. To be with the one I loved above all else.

The energy field that cages me disengages. My grandsire seats himself beside me with a heavy sigh.

“Your father has decided your fate,” he says. “He intended to send you to Void where you would exist for eternity, immaterial, with nothing left to you but your thoughts and memories.”

Though I am battle-hardened and believe I fear nothing, I shudder. So Void is real, after all. My father remembered my fear of Void from my formative years. The legendary nightmares I suffered. How he had comforted me and promised me no such place existed, a story to keep naughty younglings in line. And now, he will send me there. To the place of my childhood nightmares.

“Kushninna, look at me.” I meet my grandsire’s eyes, the father of my father, so kind, so unlike my father or my mother, each cruel in their own way. I feel fiercely bonded to him, the only one who ever showed me what love might look like.

“I have intervened on your behalf,” he continues. I glimpse the sheen of tears in his eyes, which he blinks away. I wonder what price my father has forced him to pay for my intervention. “You are to be put into stasis. Your body will be kept alive. Only a small part of you will continue to stay conscious, and that part will be activated in another life form.”

Horror crawls through me. I have heard of this punishment. Other serious offenders to Nibiru’s codex have suffered this rare fate, and on their return thousands of spheres later, they were never the same. Their eyes haunted by the lives they had led outside of themselves in the body of another, imprisoned in a lesser being in an immature civilization on a planet one dimension and many sars removed from the Deep. I had read what it was like, trapped in a primitive society filled with war, pestilence, cruelty, brutality, violence, hate, and needless suffering. For all my father’s flaws, at least no one starved in the Deep. Strangely, the fear of hunger terrifies me the most.

“He cannot mean it,” I whisper, incredulous my father would allow me to live. “I wish to be with R’ddur’n. I cannot be lost to him.”

“There is no alternative but Void,” Enki sighs. “If your bond is true, R’ddur’n will find you. I will visit you in your dreams, to remind you of your true identity lest you should forget. I shall not send you alone either; you will be watched over by four guardians, those who can travel between the dimensions who have agreed to be bound to you during your exile.” I understand his meaning. He suspects my father has his own plans for me.

I draw a ragged breath. “How long?”

“That is a factor that cannot be predicted. You will return to us when the one you are imprisoned within expires.”

I am taken to a hidden crystal-walled room deep in the Healing and Creation Sanctuary. I have never seen the entrance to this room before, camouflaged by a hologram my grandfather deactivates with the device on his wrist. So my grandfather has his secrets, too. He gives me a guilty look and I understand he was the one who created the ability to send others away, into exile in the body of another, silenced, powerless and only able to watch and to suffer, for years. I feel my will crumble. Not this. Please, not this.

The walls in the room are opaque. My father is already there. He gazes at me with a hate that chills me to the bone. I remember what he did to my mother. I know what he is capable of. I am led to the solitary pod in the middle of the room and made to lay down inside it, still wearing my bloodstained armor. Enki closes the lid over me without a word of farewell—my father's black, cold eyes ripe with the promise of his malevolence the last thing I see. I know he will hunt me in this other world. He left his mark there, as he does in all places—just as my grandfather can send guardians, my father can send tormenters. And he will make me suffer, more than most. I pity the one who must carry me, for my suffering will also be hers. Only, she will never know why, and I will have no way to tell her. I clench my fists until my fingers hurt, concentrate on the pain.

A magnetic field engages, creating a loud hum inside my head which rises and falls. I have not yet cried. I have never in my existence cried, yet my heart throbs with an ache that begs me to weep. Bleakness consumes me. I am lost. I miss R’ddur’n. Terror snaps at me. I am ashamed of my weakness. The hum grows, driving spikes of agony from my flesh into my core as if I am being torn apart from the inside out. Panic strikes. I scream, beg to be spared, claw at the pod’s lid and try to push it open. The force field gains momentum—drowns out my screams, hits me with an unbearable weight. My arms drop to my sides. I fall into myself, as though I am made of nothing more than fabric, am being folded into smaller and smaller squares, compressed each time. The light shrinks to nothing. Darkness beckons, cold, and silent.

A final image flares with the last of my existence and I cling to it, as an insect clings to a leaf in a storm. I see him, all of him, waiting for me, beyond the veil of his death.

R’ddur’n. Follow me. Find me. Love me again.

And somehow, I know he will. Because we are not done.

Our journey has only just begun.